That’s me with my new camper van! I picked up the 2014 Dodge Ram Promaster on Monday. It started life as a commercial van. The seller bought it from a Twin Cities hardware store and DIY tricked out the inside. He also added solar panels and a rooftop deck that’ll be perfect for sipping chardonnay and gazing into the middle distance like I’m in a Robert Mondavi commercial. 

Except I don’t drink, and that’s not why I’m setting out on this adventure. Last week I attended the latest of Randall Rogers’ famous men’s circles, this one on the topic of odysseys. Ten of us chatted about the Hero’s Journey and the ancient myth of Ulysses and the potent symbolism of the Cyclops and the Sirens. You know, typical guy talk. I was asked about my expectations for the next year. The next day I reread an email thread with Kirsten Gamradt about adding a trip to Alaska to my road trip itinerary. Kirsten thoughtfully asked what I might want that experience to look like, which got me thinking about my vision in general.

I was surprised to realize that despite the intensity of the tug on the center of my chest, I hadn’t articulated a vision for my walkabout. I’d described it simply as the fulfillment of a long-held dream. But I hadn’t gone deeper; I hadn’t polished an elevator speech. So I cocked my head like a cow looking at a new gate until images arrived: The most important part of shoving off from the safety of shore is not what I might expect to get from my odyssey but what I want to shed. I want to walk the last mile, to cut the last cord connecting me to concepts and illusions. I want to achieve escape velocity so I can fully liberate myself from the world of expectations and elevator speeches. I want to relinquish whatever small but significant blocks remain to grace, to feeling myself truly beloved on this earth. (H/T to Raymond Carver.) I want to be an older version of Lloyd Dobler, politely declining to engage in the conventions of our flattened, soul-starved pharaoh’s house of a culture. I want to unfold and enfold. Most of all, I want to nudge and provoke and invite others to feel into the bedrock truth: We are all of us shining like the sun.

ASK: My next step is to begin equipping my camper van and adding items of beauty to bring a homey energy. Would love help on Friday or Saturday from anyone with an eye for aesthetics or a feel for feng shui. Let me know if you’re interested. Also, is anyone interested in being a temporary foster parent to two house plants, one in a large pot?

GRATITUDE: Thank you to Ken Lessley for driving me to Bayport on Monday to pick up my van. Thank you to Lewis Dees, David Ashworth, Ron Traxinger and Mike Longnecker for another round of packing/boxing help. Thank you to Mayuri Utturkar for offering a replacement word of the year since I forgot whatever I picked in January. My new word of the year: sukha. Thank you to Amy Maxine for the super cool Earth Watch that reminds me the time is always now. Thank you to Kirsten Gamradt for drafting a thoughtful and compelling menu of things to do in Alaska.

“Think where man’s glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends.” – W.B. Yeats