In 2016, I invested in video equipment to capture stories of souls that shout. The idea came to me when a former co-worker generously reached out to offer support after I was laid off. Susanne and I arranged breakfast, and she told me what her soul was shouting about. The great passion in her life was the apple orchard that she and her husband had started and were nurturing near Grand Marais, MN. They invested every spare moment on loving and caring for trees.

I was deeply moved and set about to collect more stories like that. I wound up interviewing a dozen people who were at various stages of following or resisting whatever their souls were insisting on. Over time I noticed two threads: Everyone I talked to had at least one contrary voice whispering knife-jab objections: You’re being foolish. What makes you such a special snowflake? That’s not how the world works. The second thread: Everyone felt an external force leading them but struggled to articulate it. They couldn’t accurately describe the tug at the center of their chests.

Those moving conversations in 2016 are what led me to file the forms for my LLC, called the Joy Economy. The premise behind the name: We have so many words for buying and selling. Our vocabulary for transactions is enormous: home equity and interest rates and 401k and pay day ad nauseam ad infinitum. And we have so few words that capture the 99 subtle and variegated flavors of joy. That’s why my interview subjects had such difficulty explaining what was quickening their hearts. 

I’ve been feeling the same tension because I’m experiencing a quiet, deep rhythm of unfolding. After that, my words drift into futility. Joy is too broad, but exciting has the wrong energy — makes my walkabout sound like a thrill ride. We need a word for the joy of planting an apple tree or listening to cardinals sing just after sunrise or contemplating a road trip to Alaska.

UPDATE: On Monday I’ll drive to my credit union and then to Bayport to buy a 2014 Dodge Ram Promaster van, pending two repairs the seller has agreed to finance. I will drive away wondering what it would take to build an entire economy based on all 99 flavors of joy.

ASK: Anyone willing to drive with me to Bayport on Monday afternoon so I can drive home in the van? Also looking for someone to join me at 10 a.m. June 19. I’m taking the van to a customizing shop in Eden Prairie to get recommendations for upsizing the battery system to power a portable air conditioner for my golden retriever, Tamar. If you’re interested, let me know.

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger, something better, pushing right back.” – Albert Camus