For a month, I’ve been advertising my walkabout transition almost everywhere. The most common reaction from those who know the story: “You must be excited!” That’s an understandable assumption, which is why I’m puzzled that I don’t actually feel excited. I know how the energy of excitement feels in my body. This ain’t it. The word I’ve been using instead to describe the place I’m in: aligned. 

Over the nine years I’ve contemplated a walkabout, I’ve wrestled endlessly with all of the variables that I was convinced had to fall into place before I could take action. First this has to happen then that has to happen and then I’ll totally for sure definitely be ready. Those wrestling matches were marked by an inner friction, an intensity that became familiar, something I carried around, like my wallet. Now the intensity has vanished, replaced by a curious clarity and occasional fear, which is a different kind of intensity, cleaner. Everything I’m doing — selling my house, quitting my job, buying a camper van — seems like the obvious next step. Of course this is the path I’m taking now because it’s the path that’s right in front of me. Every day feels like a seatbelt going into its clasp. Click. That’s the sound of authenticity.

In the past month, I’ve also been reminded every day how much love and generosity surround me. My walkabout distribution list has grown to 29 names. I am assembling a music playlist for my adventure that conveys the astonishing richness and vibrancy of my friendships. My ask this week: Please send me a music suggestion to include in that playlist, ideally something that’s meaningful to you. Please include an explanation for why it’s meaningful. That way I’ll be able to take all of y’all on the road with me.

Sending big gratitude to Denise Melton, whose question and feedback to me three months ago ignited my imagination; to Lois Kniss, who helped me devise a purpose statement that captures the vision of the New Brett Project; to Kyle Feldman, who gave me a copy of “Travels with Charley” and sent me a powerful blessing in a card; and to Lewis Dees, Alan Hintermeister and Mike Longnecker, who were like dervishes of box packing on Saturday. Mike also joined me on a camper van test drive last week. Thank you!

“I will waste my heart on fear no more. I will find the secret bell and make it ring.” — Ruth Moody, borrowing from John O’Donohue